C-T Sports: Two N.O. VooDoo Dolls
Called Up To The NFL

June 20th, 2008 | News, Sportsman's Paradise

ATLANTA, Georgia — In a move that could never have been guessed by even the most rabid draft prognosticators, the Atlanta Falcons have swooped down to sign Brandi and Nikki, the two hottest Voodoo Dolls, for frontline placement in the ranks of the Atlanta Falcons Cheerleaders.

In a news conference to announce the move late yesterday, Falcons General Manager Thomas Dimitroff said:

“We’ve had our eyes on these ladies for quite a while, examining them very closely in slow-motion replays and extreme close-ups, often for hours at a time and very late at night.”

“We’re really, really excited,” he added. “Really excited.”

Speaking via satellite from the ESPN Zone restaurant in Baltimore, ESPN NFL draft expert Mel Kiper was stunned by the move.

“The shock in this move isn’t why it happened, but how it could happen in the first place,” said Kiper.

“Brandi and Nikki are explosive dancers with the kind quickness, speed, and aggressive first move that translates well to the pro level.

“How the VooDoo did not stick the Franchise tag on Brandi and Nikki is beyond me,” Kiper added. “These two young ladies are full of tremendous upside potential.”

For their part, Brandi and Nikki are excited about the move.

“I owe a lot to the VooDoo and Mr. Benson,” Nikki stated. “But I feel the opportunity afforded by this franchise and this squad will definitely allow me to bring my A-game to every game.”

“If I could put all the energy I’m gonna bring to the Falcons in a bottle, it would have to be a really big bottle,” said fellow-cheerleader Brandi

“Besides, I never even got a call from the Saintsations or the Honey Bees,” she added.

Voodoo fans of all walks of life are reacting negatively.

Mayor Nagin said in a statement: “This is just another sad example of the Brain Drain that has driven our best and brightest and hottest to leave home to find opportunities in places like Houston, Dallas, and Atlanta. We need special programs and subsidies to keep ladies of this caliber where they belong: in New Orleans.”

Fan Ritchie Schellinbach feels equally betrayed. “Remember when Hebert and then Andersen went to the Falcons? It’s the same.”

“Besides, what am I going to look at during the game? Do you really think Arena Football is that fun to watch?

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