Kentwood Woman Readies Comeback

KENTWOOD, Louisiana –- The most important musician in the history of Louisiana is topping the charts for the first time in a decade, Billboard reports.

Kentwood, Louisiana, native Britney Spears’ new song, “Womanizer,” shot from 96 to 1 in one week, a record-breaking climb up the Hot 100 chart.

The singer hasn’t been this high on the chart since her debut single, “…Baby, One More Time,” ranked No. 1 in 1999.

The rumor mill is buzzing. The paparazzi is polishing its collective lens.

There are a few nagging question that Camp Brit in Kentwood has yet to address.

Is there a Sex Tape? What about Spears’ children? What does this mean for sister Jamie Lynn? Will Britney return to Kentwood? Stay in Hollywood? Is there a Sex Tape? When will the tour kick off? Is there a Sex Tape? Where can one get a free copy of the Sex Tape? On the internet? Really? Where on the internet? Can you see very much? Does she make out with a girl in it? A striptease, eh? If we go to that site, do you think we could get any computer viruses? …Ha ha…You’re right, we’re going to go there anyway.