Vikings Defeated, Wood Brought

Reggie Bush conveys the log.

CBD—The New Orleans Saints defeated the Minnesota Vikings 31-28 Sunday, clinching their first-ever Super Bowl berth.

“During the bye week, I gave this team a simple challenge: chaperone the arbor,” said Head Coach Sean Payton.  “These players bought into the system and that’s exactly what we did. We conveyed the log.”

The Saints didn’t just introduce the Minnesota Vikings to the beam, they also delivered cypress at the feet of Vikings quarterback Brett Favre.

“We sourced the lumber, we traveled to where it was located, we obtained it, and, finally, we presented it to the quarterback,” said Defensive End Bobby McCrae. “All week in practice, our focus was on escorting that birch. And during the game, we consorted with it”

“They convoyed it, absolutely; they convoyed it and they conveyed it,” said a weary Brett Favre after the game. “And it wasn’t balsa, I assure you. That was pure mahogany that was visited upon me.”

“It felt like they superinduced a jungle on us out there,” added Vikings Pro Bowl Left Tackle Bryant McKinnie.  “It was total remote reforestation.”

On offense, Quarterback Drew Brees revealed that a similar strategy had been at work: carrying the two-by-four.

“Ash, sycamore, walnut, teak, magnolia, hazel—you name it, we called it forth,” said Brees in the on-field postgame press conference.

“But you’ve really got to give credit to these fans,” Brees added.  After years of undelivered timber, we were finally able to fetch the kindling and return with it to the place where the fans were.”