April 24, 2008

Dear Special Man

I'm Listening.

Dear Special Man,

My mom told me you helped her years ago. Something about you helping her to obtain the $50.00. How she accrued this, I don’t want to know, LOL. But she did say that you are excellent with advice and that’s why I’m writing to you today.

I am a 16-year-old sophomore attending Archbishop Chapelle High School. My dream since middle school has been to be a cheerleader. The problem I’m encountering is that I’m getting zero support from my family and the Chapellettes themselves. WTF!

I just think that no one believes that I have what it takes to be a Chapellette. Do you have any advice for me?

Thanks!!

Mystified in Metarie

Dear Mystified,

Girl, you sound like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You got a dream: Cheerleader. And now the “powers that be” (family and Chapellettes) seem to be working against you, on a level.

It can’t be easy to have them not understand you and your desire to “lead the cheer.” Or maybe they don’t know what’s in you. Yet.

Listen, I had a similar issue when I was but a lad. For you see, I also had a dream. I believed in giving credit where credit was due. I saw many an individual denied the opportunity to obtain low-cost furniture at affordable prices. Maybe all they needed was fifty dollars and no credit-check.

Everyone thought I was crazy. How could I accomplish an idea so “special?”

One day I saw an empty lot at 2600 St Claude and a light bulb struck the top of my fedora. I then called my friends, Frankie and Johnny and the rest you may say is history.

Young lady, that light bulb is available for you as well. All you need to do is ignite. You’ve got all summer to practice and make perfect. Get good. Do your homework, girl. Fight for that dream. Bring it and sing it. Come up with some special cheers that will knock the hairspray and socks out of the existing Chapellettes. My point is “let em have it!”

The cheer is clear,

The Special Man

The Special Man, a successful businessman and multimedia personality, writes a regular advice column as a public service to our readers. If you’d like the advice of The Special Man, write to:DearSpecialMan@gmail.com