Beheading Can’t Keep Chef Paul From Skillet

RIVER BEND — After being hit by a falling bullet while cooking at a charity event at English Turn last week, New Orleans chef Paul Prudhomme was today again the victim of a freak, violent accident while cooking for a good cause.

While Prudhomme was setting up his cooking tent in the Children’s Hospital parking lot, a nearby groundskeeper lost control of his chainsaw, which severed the chef’s neck.

To the delight and dismay of the guests, Prudhomme shook it off, sautéing delicious Creole and Cajun fare for four hours.

“After last week’s bullet wound at English Turn, Saturday’s stabbing on Royal Street, and the crane collapsing on him in Manhattan, it’s just amazing that he has the gumption to keep doing what he does best,” said Event Organizer Gordon McGaha.

“This man cannot be stopped,” she added. “He’s a true New Orleanian.”

“Not only that, the mueniere was outstanding,” added Dr. Barbara DuPree, the attending surgeon who struggled for 12 hours to reattach the swarthy chef’s massive head after the event.

While recuperating, Prudhomme is said to be consulting with Hoverround—the maker of his trademark personal mobility device—to create a new armor-plated model based on the Pope Mobile.