Besides the relative honor of the great city of New Orleans feteing its localest news mainstay, The Creole-Tomato,  the festival featured cooking demos, tomato samplings, live music, Dutch Alley Artist’s Co-Op outdoor Arts Market, children’s activities, food booths, and more! 

Mainstage at Governor Nichols at the Farmers Market. Children’s activities & arts market were presented in Dutch Alley.

Editor-in-Chief of the Creole-Tomato,  Gary “Coattails” Wingerter had this to say, “After long, dedicated service to this community, I would like to thank the staff, my mom and dad, my baby sister Ruthie, the Academy, the Onion, Angus, the wild citzenry of New Orleans, HBO, and hereby accept this festival on behalf of all C-T readers and thank you, Jesus.”

The controversial nature of this decision caused a outcry from citizens of the sister cities of New Orleans and Nashville alike.

Adding salt to the wound of this strange choice by Landrieu, the Times Picayune reported on May 5, 2010 that Landrieu’s pick for acting director of the city Health Department, Dr. Joia Crear-Perry, cannot practice medicine in Louisiana.

The state licensing board suspended her license July 31 because Crear-Perry, an obstetrician and gynecologist, did not disclose, as required, that a New Orleans hospital had suspended her privileges and because she did not abide by the board’s terms when it suspended her license in 2008.

The Creole-Tomato sought comment from City Hall, but the internet there was not functioning, so emails could not be received or sent.

Her astonishing run of late-’60s hits with Atlantic Records — “Respect,” “I Never Loved a Man,” “Chain of Fools,” “Baby I Love You,” “I Say a Little Prayer,” “Think,” “The House That Jack Built,” and several others — earned her the title “Lady Soul,” which she has worn uncontested ever since.

“We are proud to announce that American music icon Aretha Franklin will be making her first-ever appearance at the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival presented by Shell,” event organizers said today. The Saturday, April 24 performance by Aretha Franklin at Jazz Fest will be the only chance to see the legendary soul diva south of New Jersey next year. The Festival is scheduled for April 23 – May 2, 2011.

“Over the years I’ve always enjoyed scheduling a performance at Jazz Fest,” said Franklin. “Everyone connected with the Festival, and in particular Quint Davis, has created an atmosphere that is both musical and enjoyable. I am looking forward to the opportunity to perform with at the 2011 Festival.”

Davis, the helmsman of Jazz Fest, was expected to answer questions about Franklin’s frequent cancellations said only that he, “is so excited to have Ms. Franklin on the 2011 schedule.”

With the oils spill potentially eradicating Lousiana’s normally abundant supply of oysters, crabs, shrimp, redfish, and speckled trout, fishers and associated tradesmen look to new careers and new livelihoods.

The blank canvas of a crude filled marsh is foremost in the minds of the entrepreneurial Louisianan.

“I’m a put the cooking oil industry outta business, me,” said Captain Bo Theriot of Venice, La. “My reds come pre-greased…just drop ‘em in the pan!”

Developer Audrey Sabine, of Sabine Omican, LLC, has a different approach. Her firm, SOL, has produced renderings of a crawfish farm replete with surrounding rice paddies, Buddhist Temples, and on the spot cryogenic freezers.

SOL reportedly has the backing of US representative Ahn “Joseph” Cao.

“If we can’t catch fresh seafood,” said Sabine, “we might as well grow fresh seafood.”

It has also been reported that Eric Overmeyer of HBO is penning a televsion series that will tell the story of BP, Halliburton, and the people of Southern Louisiana to be released approximatley five years from the date of the explosion. The series, working title, “Tidewater Road” will amble about the lives of affected citizens of Venice and spend quite a bit of time on character development.

MID CITY — In the 1100 block of Dumaine Street on Sunday, April 18th 2010, New Orleans resident Bernard Juhas hosted a gumbo party at his converted shotgun double home.

The reason: He had recently taken advantage of a Cox Cable promo and gotten HBO to watch the new series “Treme.” that premiered a week before.
Though he claims to invited fifteen of his friends and family members, only three other people showed up.

“I guess they all have HBO too.” said Mr. Juhas. “But that being the case, I stilled wanted to watch “Treme” with everybody and at the same time have some of my Mee-Maw’s delicious seafood gumbo.”

When asked why a “Gumbo Party,” Mr. Juhas expalined that he and his freinds were really into having Gumbo parties a couple of years ago but they seemed to fall out of fashion.

“Oh yessiree, we are bringing it back. Gumbo Party every Sunday night till they cancel ‘Treme!’”

More Like Jane Awesome

WAREHOUSE DISTRICT–As the NOPD barricades are being lined up on the cross streets of Tchoupitoulas, New Orleans prepares for another round of citywide revelry. Three weeks after Fat Tuesday, New Orleans residents, still chanting “Who Dat!’  have caught the whiff of a party in sister city, Mandeville. 

On March 6th , Mandeville, Louisiana, kicks off the fourteenth annual Old Mandeville Jane Austen Festival. The festival, actually staged across Lake Pontrachartrain from New Orleans, ” fosters the fine art of letter writing, a motif common to the works of Jane Austen.”

Twenty four miles of Causeway are not expected to hinder the thirsty populace of New Orleans.

“We know a good party when we see one,” said New Orleans Satellite Party Branch Assistant Manager of the Old Mandeville Jane Austen Festival Jimmy John O’Keefe. “And we’re bringing it to New Orleans.”

“This year we got permits to second line down the Orpheus Route.”

O’Keefe and company are expecting large crowds to bring out the Mardi Gras ladders, ice chests, and folding charirs for the parade.

“Besides the obvious debauchery that goes along with the OMJAF, we’ve got the 610 Stompers, the Marching 1,000, and flambeux.”

“Easily, our biggest year so far.” he added. “Oh yeah, and ‘Who dat!’”

Apparently it wasn't just an expression.

BATON ROUGE, Louisiana – Baton Rouge and surrounding parishes awoke to a winter mix of sleet and snow blanketing the area.

But Barry Keim, an LSU climatologist, said the forecast was “not in any way related to the Saints Superbowl victory.”

“Yes, we know all know the expression ‘hell will freeze over before the Saints win the Superbowl,’” Klein said.  “But this is an actual weather event. Baton Rouge is not hell.”

But Robert Ricks, a forecaster for the National Weather Service in New Orleans, disagrees.

“We’ve had indications for years that Baton Rouge was hell,” said Ricks.  “This is just the final confirmation.

“It’s the seat of a corrupt state government, home to an intellectually bankrupt football factory passing as an institution of higher education, and a strip mall wasteland of chain-restaurant culture and cuisine.”

“If that’s not hell, I don’t know what is,” Klein added.

Klein’s forecast called for the snowfall to continue throughout much of the day covering East Baton Rouge Parish, Houston, Dallas, Atlanta, Arkansas, and Afghanistan.

State of Euphoria.

“This illness appears to have a sudden onset but presents with no major symptoms to speak of,” said Dr. Pierre Buekens of the Tulane University School of Public Health and Tropical Medicine.

“The State reported fatigue, muscle weakness, mild headache, a loss of voice, and a pronounced state of god-like euphoria. But these symptoms are common and can be associated with any number of conditions.”

“It truly is mysterious,” he added.

In the meantime, New Orleans health officials are taking no chances.

While urging the public to remain calm, Mayor-elect Landrieu has announced that all SDT cleaning trucks will now have a special antibacterial agent added to their street soap sprayers.

“The antibiotic has a natural lemony scent, so the public should notice no difference,” he said.

Reached for comment, the State of Louisiana said that it is feeling “pretty damn good.” But it did add that it may not go into work on Tuesday either.

Fact is, everything is going to be perfect from here on out.

“It’s all there,” says local man Kevin W. Sergii who resides in the Lower Garden District. “If you think about it. Nothing can ever go wrong in New Orleans again.”

Southern University of New Orleans Sociology Professer Gil Estraine confirms, “Certainly this is one for the history books, this perfect storm of perfect stuff. Once the hangover of Mardi Gras wears off, the citzenry will see it for sure. They will wake up in a once drowned township and realize that New Orleans is not only “open for business” but also feel more like Shangri-La.”

“First, the blight will disappear, then crime evaporates and everyone will  be happy all the time from here on out. Also, we probably won’t have to work that hard anymore. And we can credit Drew, Sean and Mitch…the new Camelot.”

Pointing to recent discoveries in Baton Rouge, Professor Estraine  stated that its not only sociology that confirms this but also meterology.