Al Copeland Announces New Reality Series: “The Franchisee”

Al Copeland today announced plans for a new venture, a Realty TV series called “The Franchisee.”

The show, to be executive produced by Copeland and “Apprentice” creator Mark Burnett, will begin shooting in New Orleans this winter.

The show will pit twelve contestants selected from the Greater New Orleans Area in a competition to start a franchise of a chain restaurant in the desolate, cut-throat environment that is the post-K New Orleans quick service restaurant market.

Challenges will include producing a local TV cartoon show to promote unhealthy fried food to children, staging a giant Christmas light show against the opposition of neighbors, and fighting with local writer Anne Rice in the mediums of full-page newspaper advertisements and fisticuffs outside of Morton’s steakhouse.

Any Franchisee who can get married and divorced three times within the duration of the competition will get extra points. Plastic surgery will earn candidates extra buckets for mopping up biscuit grease.

“The ideal candidate will be both crunchy on the outside, and juicy on the inside, metaphorically speaking,” said veteran reality TV producer Burnett.

When asked about similarities between “The Franchisee” and “The Apprentice,” Copeland was as subtle as the engine noise of a cigarette boat.

“That show stinks,” Copeland said. “And my show will be totally different.”

“’The Apprentice’ was about people who wanted to own their own business. ‘The Franchisee’ is about people who want to be forced to focus security cameras on their own employees and install bulletproof glass airlocks between their staff and the customers.”

Copeland said that he has his own signature catchphrase—which he’s keeping mum on at the moment—he promises it will be better than Trump’s “You’re Fired.”

“I’ve already patented, copyrighted, and trademarked it,” Copeland said. “That’s all you’re getting from me.”

An anonymous Hollywood insider tells The Creole-Tomato that the catchphrase will sound eerily familiar:

“You’re Fried.”

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