Blanco Announces She Won’t Seek Reelection;
Mississippi Grimaces

On Tuesday May 20, 2007 Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco gave her farewell address. Her Goner announced she would not seek a second term as leader of our fair state, but would devote the rest of her time as governor to helping out the state instead of trying to get re-elected.

In a quote from her speech to that effect, she claims no regret. “I’m announcing my decision early - well before the legislative session. I’m doing this so we can work without interference from election year politics. Every action in my remaining months in office will be to serve Louisiana. There is nothing more important to Louisiana’s future than a strong recovery, free from politics.”

The local response was one of obvious antipathy. Blanco to her citizens became little more than a hand-wringing Sisyphus. The reaction from Louisiana’s neighbor to the east was not as subdued.

Across the state, Mississippians are rallying to get Blanco re-elected. This effort has seemingly superseded party lines, and nearly all social, economic, and religious issues. Snowballing petitions calling for Louisiana to Re-Elect Blanco abound in Hancock and Harrison counties as well as in the capitol, Jackson.

The impetus is clear. With Blanco at the helm, the Louisiana ship of state is not only in dangerously shallow water, but also in what Gulf Coast Mississippians recognize as heavy fog. With Blanco at the helm of La, Miss. Looks pretty dang good. Comparatively, Mississippi has been able to turn in the correct forms, dot its many “i”’s and impress the federal government.

Harrison County will receive $8.6 million in reimbursement for money spent to remove debris along roadways in the hours after Hurricane Katrina.

And NASA plans to build a $175 millions rocket engine test stand on the Mississippi Gulf Coast.

The State of Louisiana applied for the NASA contract, but was rejected because NASA was misspelled 14 times.

A spokesperson for the Governor’s office said: “We hit spell-check. We don’t really know what happened.”

A full investigation is already underway at the Louisiana Recovery Authority Application Typing Sub-Committee Authority (LRAATSCA).

Mississippians contend that Louisiana, by ridding itself of Blanco and thereby improving its national reputation, might be able to lure the federal dollars away from the Redneck Riviera.

Lawrence Percy, President Emeritus of the Mississippians to Re-Elect Gubenatorial Officeholder Blanco Committee (MR-GO-BC) said: “We’ve got to do whatever we can to keep her in office. As my Pappy always said, ‘If you want to look smart, hang out with dumb people.’”

Related Stories:

Op-Ed: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named Caused Katrina by The Honorable C. Ray Nagin
Nagin: Fill Ground Zero With Chocolate
Baskin-Robbins to Produce Special Edition “Chocolate City” Fundraiser Flavor