Chris Owens Donates Self to Local Wax Museum

FRENCH QUARTER — The Museé Conti Wax Museum has announced a new and somewhat controversial addition to its “Haunted Dungeon” yesterday: famed cabaret dancer Chris Owens.

In a press conference, Museum curator Howard Kurtz stated he believes that Chris Owens has “recently acquired enough implanted wax and other synthetics to be eligible for placement” in one of the museum’s showcases.

In an interview with the C-T, Ms. Owens revealed that Mr. Kurtz first approached her after her most recent cosmetic enhancement.

She also confirmed that she has officially accepted the proposal and hopes to take her position in the Wax Museum’s Dungeon near the Pit and the Pendulum display this spring.

“I think the museum has some great new ideas, and I would be happy to move into these new territories,” Ms. Owens said.

“Also, after all these years of dancing, the opportunity of resting these gams from 8 to 5 sounds refreshing.”

Madame Tussauds and other members of the International Displayers of Wax Figures Coalition (IDWFC) issued a statement that they were infuriated by the maverick decision of the Musee Conti.

“This stretching of the well-defined rules of wax figurinery is affront to all we stand for,” the statement read, in part.

“We could’ve had Joan Rivers in here years ago if that was the case.”

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