Garland Robinette Drowns in “Think Tank”

Garland Robinette, the New Orleans television and radio journalist, has drowned. He was 68.

Robinette began losing oxygen during the Wednesday afternoon broadcast of his talk radio show, “The Think Tank with Garland Robinette,” on WWL-870 AM.

Robinette faltered while Harold from New Orleans East explained how President Bush, The Shaw Group, and Halliburton were only interested in New Orleans because “there’s oil under the ground in the Lower 9th Ward.”

“What’s your source,” Robinette asked.

“LSU.edu,” the caller replied. “UNO.edu. Whatever. Look it up, Garland.”

“I can’t breathe,” Robinette replied.

Engineers rushed into the broadcast booth to try to save him, but their efforts were too late.

“We should have seen the signs,” said Station Manager Keith Taylor. “Garland’s been under a lot of stress lately, dealing with the deluded ramblings of a paranoid and vocal populace.”

“Just last week he started hyperventilating when Benny from Arabi told him that some guy named Mister Go dynamited the Industrial Canal floodwall with Pop Rocks and Coca-Cola.”

Robinette achieved national notoriety in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina with an interview with the embattled mayor of New Orleans, C. Ray Nagin.

When informed of Robinette’s death, Mayor Nagin commented, “excuse my French everybody in America, but I am pissed.”

Mr. Robinette is survived by his ex-wife, WWL-TV anchor Angela Hill, and her collection of used sweaters from Goodwill.