Hurricane Eve Enters Gulf;
NOAA Prediction: Media Frenzy

June 1st marks the beginning of Hurricane Season. Contractors in New Orleans, building severe weather protection systems, are busy struggling to meet the deadlines set earlier in the recovery efforts.

Local governments along the Gulf Coast are penning the final elements of evacuation plans. Mayor Nagin, the recently re-elected mayor of the Choc…of New Orleans has defined “mandatory,” as “recommended.”

Federal government agencies are preparing for the worst. FEMA, in particular, sees a rocky road ahead. FEMA Administration spokeswoman, Liza D. Sete says her agency is actively seeking repayment for the “loan” it signed off on in September 2005. “Blanco hasn’t even made a dent in the interest payment.” Sete claims.

Because of the impending threat of system failures across the board, the local and national media have taken upon their shoulders to carry New Orleans through Hurricane Season 2006. They have essentially promised an immense storm on June 1st 2006, the first day of Hurricane Season, Experts have it aimed directly for the Greater New Orleans area. “If Louisiana residents aren’t ready by June 1st,” CNN Correspondent Dewey Cheatum, “they are all going to die.”

The Creole-Tomato recommends that you heed these warnings. If an affected citizen does not heed the warnings, he or she can take comfort in the fact that the media will be there in the aftermath to film his or her suffering and discomfort.

National Weather Service insiders have nick-named the event horizon of June 1st, “Hurricane Eve.”

Local weatherman, Bob Breck of Fox 8, who has been on air making ridiculous claims about the history of powerful storms not even entering the Gulf until late August, got wind of Hurricane Eve.

Breck, who placidly recognized that it used to be only a hurricane that blows things so far out of whack, stated, “We begin naming windstorms with a name that starts with the letter ‘A’ not ‘E’.”