Jindal Vetoes Kittens;
College Football, Thanksgiving Could Be Next

BATON ROUGE, Louisiana — Gov. Bobby Jindal continued his veto streak today, eliminating the all kittens in the State of Louisiana.

In a letter to the legislature, Jindal threatened to veto “anything and everything that does not conform to this administration’s goals for a more effective and transparent state government.”

“We’ve been focused on the wrong things for too long and now this state is in an economic crisis,” Jindal added in his letter.

“Enough is enough. And it’s time for a change.”

This latest veto is just the latest in Jindal’s aggressive cutting. After vetoing a pay raise for State Legislators in April, this week Jindal also used his line-item veto authority 258 times, more than double the combined amount of such vetoes used in the last 12 years.

Meanwhile, lawmakers across the state are reacting with shock and anger.

“I’m shocked, and I’m angry,” said Sen. John Alario (D-Westwego), who had proposed an amendment to House Bill 1 to spend $16 million building a kitten “Museum, Resource Center, and Learning Annex” in his home district.

“These are necessary programs,” he added. “If we cut everything, then we’re left with nothing.”

Jindal defends his veto as being necessary to make life in the Pelican State less wasteful and more efficient.

“In tough times, we need to make tough choices,” said Jindal spokesperson Trey Williams.

“Do we really need kittens? Are they helping us educate our children, make our streets safer, or protect us against catastrophic storms? Of course not.”

And Jindal is already hinting that the cutting may not be finished.

“All options are on the table,” said one Senior Administration Official who spoke on condition of anonymity.

“We’re talking about LSU Football, Bass Fishing–maybe even King Cakes. Watch out.”