Louisiana Prosecutors Indict Jefferson on Local Charges

Everyone's after Slick Willie.
The accused faces the following additional allegations as chargeable only in Louisiana:
Hiring unbonded out-of-state contractors in the First Degree
2 counts of bribing racehorses at the New Orleans Fairgrounds.
Inserting the straw into a frozen daiquiri prior to exiting his vehicle.
Aggravated shoving of old ladies while attempting to recover Bacchus doubloons.
Third-Degree peeing in the bushes during Hermes.
Dynamiting the MR-GO.
Misdemeanor charging $20 to park on a lawn near the Jazz Fest and then double-parking the cars.
Looting, 8 counts.
Felony dining at the Red Lobster near Lakeside Mall in Jefferson Parish.
Aggravated buying of long beads instead of catching them.
“Congressman Jefferson is not guilty; he plans to fight these indictments and clear his name,” said his attorney in a statement issued the day of the indictments. “State level agents searched his home and automobile, but realized later that both had already been cleaned out by the feds.”
A statement from the Louisiana Department of Justice said, “The things of value allegedly sought by the federal investigators make sense to them. We have recovered the evidence we need. We have some pretty damning trinkets.”
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