NBA Hires New York Firm to Rename Hornets

A Desire To Be More Authentically, “Naturally N’awlins”

Your name here.

NEW YORK — They were born in Charlotte, spent some time in Oklahoma City, and now they think they’re ready to be full-fledged locals. But the New Orleans Hornets still don’t sound like they’re from here.

That’s why the top brass at NBA Corporate Headquarters has hired New York marketing and branding experts BrandEssence and Partners to develop a list of new names for the team.

According to league sources, the list (printed below) is a result of months of meticulous research to “get at the authentic soul of New Orleans, to express what the city is really all about.”

The Gumbos
The Flashers
The Open Containers
The Roux
The Swamp Tours
The Grits
The Riverboat Queens

“We think this list really captures the Spirit of New Orleans—what the city is all about,” said Harvey Mankowitz, Creative Director of Leveraged Brand Integration and Marketing Planning.

“We worked really hard to get this right. We even sent researchers to interview people in Houston and Atlanta to really understand what New Orleans is all about and turned up some really compelling insights.

“For example, it turns out that gumbo is actually a form of soup that they eat down there, which we didn’t know,” said Mankowitz.

“We understand that it’s also delicious.”

Local fans will be able to choose the winner by texting in their favorites.

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