Throw Me Something, Congress!

While locals debate whether it was in the city’s best interest to celebrate Mardi Gras this year, Louisiana representatives petitioned Congress in true Mardi Gras fashion this Fat Tuesday.

The group of nine, or Krewe of Katrina as they prefer to be called, marched into the Capitol building in full carnival attire late Monday evening, carrying with them the usual array of parade-going necessities, including ice chests filled with beer and cold drinks, a bbq pit for grilling essential foods, kingcakes, lawn chairs, ladders, and an extra-large camping tent.

“The camping tent is our key element to claiming a good spot on the Congressional priority list,” explained Rep. Bobby Jindal. “It lets them know we are here, we are serious, and we mean business.”

Once Congress was in session Tuesday morning, House member Charles Boustany climbed atop a tall ladder and began shouting for funds to help the hard hit state while a “Louie Armstrong” clad Rep. William Jefferson second-lined through the aisles and trumpeted out an atonal “When the Saints Go Marching In”.

A call to order was made when Reps. Charles Melancon and Rodney Alexander wrestled Elizabeth Dole to the floor in an attempt to remove her pearl necklace; and shortly thereafter, officers were brought in to end the illegal drinking practices of Rep. James McCrery.

Rep. Richard Baker defended the group’s actions. “Everybody knows the police are supposed to turn a blind eye during Mardi Gras season,” Baker explained. “It’s too bad they caught Vitter peeing behind the pulpit though. He’s got quick hands. We could have used that when the bills start to fly.”

Other state representatives seemed confused by the group’s unorthodox fundraising methods, but some fought back including Senators Barack Obama and John McCain who carried signs reading “Bill Me” and “I’m from Arizona” respectively.

In a final counter-offensive, Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu exposed her bare chest, abruptly clearing the hall in an emergency evacuation.