August 17, 2009
While the number of murders committed in New Orleans remained basically steady in the first six months of 2009 compared with the same period last year, the New Orleans Police Department reported a decrease in other violent crime.
New Orleans Police Chief Warren Riley says the city’s crime-fighting strategies are changing daily. Violent crime in general decreased 13 percent, the department stated Thursday.
The department said Superintendent Warren Riley is pleased with the downward trend.
Riley announced earlier this month that not only would he not be vying for the office of mayor, but also he would step down on current Mayor C. Ray Nagin’s last day.
New Orleans based publication The Creole-Tomato observes the fact that the murder tally has remained basically the same. As of the end of June, the NOPD reported 97 murders in 2009 compared to 94 for the first half of 2008. As of Thursday afternoon, there were 118 murders in 2009 and 114 for the same period in 2008.
So crime is down in New Orleans. Violent crime, that is.
Thank you, Chief.
The Creole-Tomato urges Mr. Riley to reconsider his July statements and run for mayor. Perhaps your platform can be that violent crime is down, technically-speaking. In conjuction with a grassroots effort www.draftwarren.com The Creole-Tomato officially supports Warren Riley for New Orleans Mayor.
–Editors
April 26, 2009
Use Your Head!Dear New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival Goer,
Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Sense, Common Sense. I am here to pose to you a meaningful question, and do not presuppose to belittle your college education or your funny Jazz Fest-type style of clothing, and so on.
Actually, my name is Delicious Jones, but you see when I called my personage Mr. Common Sense, I got your attention and whatnot. That’s called a “hook.” Also, you look parched and splotchy and you can call me “D.”
As so stated prior to me statin’ that you can call me “D,” I have one question for you and all of you kind sweaty, sunburned folks in sandals, straw hats and Baby Bjorns. The question is simple:
WHY WOULD YOU BUY WATER INSIDE THE FAIRGROUNDS WHEN I’M SELLING IT FOR $1.50 CHEAPER RIGHT HERE?
There is a recession going on, in case you all were caught somehow unawares. Hard times.
Think about it.
Respectfully,
Delicious “Common Sense” A.K.A. Big “D” Jones
Delicious Jones is a vendor of ice cold water on N.Lopez Street. He can also find you a place to park. All opinions expressed in Op-Ed pieces are the solely those of the author. The Creole-Tomato assumes no responsibility for their content.
January 28, 2009
Lookit by Terrance Atkinson,
Decatur Street Dancer
Hey Folks, come on and check this out. Me and my posse are getting ready to formulate this spectacular article for y’all’s reading enjoyment, but before we get this article underway, we need for just a few more folks to crowd in around your computer screen to come and check this article out.
Come on,bro. Don’t be shy. You in the office? Call your coworkers. If you at home, get the kids, your spouse … just don’t be shy.
Okay, good. We’re getting a few more readers coming to check out this article. That’s real sweet, y’all, and we thank you for your support. You ain’t gonna be disappointed in this article, folks. Y’all gonna relate to it and get a real feeling for the friendliness of the people of New Orleans. We laid back here, using phrases like “ain’t gonna” in our prose and all.
Ah! We got you. Did you see that article writing skill? That last paragraph contained masterful use of quotation marks, and this here paragraph started with an interjection. This crew takes article writin’ to a whole nother level.
Full Story »
January 7, 2009
The Special ManThere’s a lot of talk about economic stimulation these days.
Some experts like to talk about a middle-class tax cut. Some politicians cite so-called “shovel-ready” infrastructure projects. And still others like Lieutenant Governor Mitch Landrieu support Biotech. Whatever that nonsense is.
All these proposals are well and good, but in troubled times like these we need a time-tested stimulus package that I know can get this economy going: letting ‘em have it.
You see my friends, I know what it means to let’ em have it. And I’ve seen the kind stimulus it really can provide. Allow me to give you just one example:
One time, a woman walked into my store. She was on Social Security and Welfare, just declared bankruptcy, and had only fifty dollars to her name.
When I told her that she could have a brand-new bedroom set, she jumped up and down and clapped her hands vigorously.
Talk about stimulation!
I’ve seen this same scene play out day after day for decades now. I’ve seen it work in New Orleans. And now I’d like to see it work all across this great land of ours.
We shouldn’t invest not in tax cuts, schools, or roads. We need to let people have the living room and bedroom sets of their dreams.
Because when we let’ em have it, we don’t just let’ em have money, a job, or a new bedroom set. We let ‘em have something far more valuable.
We let ‘em have hope. And isn’t that what America is all about?
So if you’ve got nothing but the fifty dollars, we can let you have hope.
With no problem.
The Special Man is a successful businessman and multimedia personality. He welcomes your views on his Facebook page. Just search for: “The Special Man.”
All opinions expressed in Op-Ed pieces are the solely those of the author. The Creole-Tomato assumes no responsibility for their content.
March 3, 2008
The controversial photo.Excuse me, Ladies and Gentlemen, but now I am pissed.
I am fed up with the nay-sayers and the negative media. In my day, this would be considered trash-talking, and, frankly, I’m going to confront the slander.
It seems every time I want to have a little fun and cut loose a little bit, I get a barrage of negativity that borders on the insane. It can be anything from my downtime on Fridays to this recent hub-bub my myspace page concerning pictures from my Jamaican get-away last summer.
Is it a crime to sunbathe? I ask you, is it a crime to wander outside in your birthday suit while glazed in oil? Finally, is it a crime to pose proactively for one’s wife, a woman who loves you more dearly than any woman outside your mama? I think not.
Look, I’m not just a Mayor; I’m a grown-ass man. And if I want to expound various pics or my point of view via MySpace or outer space or whatever space, I should have that right.
Full Story »
November 14, 2007
Editors’ Note: This article originally appeared in Where Y’at Magazine.
Now I know there’s been a lot of controversy about the job I’ve been doing and there’s a lot of talk about shutting me down forever with a big dam.
I’m a big boy. I can handle criticism. But I want to set the record straight one thing.
Don’t call me Mister.
My father was “Mister” Go. You can call me Terence. Terence Go.
Full Story »
August 15, 2007
A Shocking newly-published expose
The Honorable C. Ray NaginI’m gonna say it once. I’m gonna say it publicly. And I am gonna say it in plain black and white: You-Know-Who caused Katrina.
Many people may laugh at me. Many people may try to hush me up or brush me aside or send dementors after me. But I am not demented, and I am not going to Azkaban without a fight.
I have on my desk a just-published 759-page report which chronicles the history and motivations of a mad-man out to get us. While the names in the book have been changed, you’d have to be under a Confundus Charm not to see the codes of warning hidden in its pages.
Many government officials may dismiss the findings in this report, calling it a “book for children,” but I’m not going to make the same mistakes the Ministry of Magic made by ignoring the facts.
There’s a squib on my staff-that is to say, a person of wizarding heritage who lacks magical ability-and this squib believes we muggles-members of the non-wizarding community-must act now before our world is taken over by the Dark Lord.
Now, it’s a very long, complicated report; and, like I said, all the names in it have been changed since the real names are currently being “tracked” by the wizarding community as a way to prevent us from planning any counter-attack.
Full Story »
July 3, 2007
Jefferson's assets are frozen.TO: editor@thecreoletomato.com
FROM: wjefferson@house.gov
SUBJ: I Am Wrongingly Accused and Needing Your Help
For urgent business relationship:
I must solicit your strictest confidence in this Transaction. This is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential and ‘top secret’. I am sure and have confidence of your ability and reliability to prosecute a transaction of this great magnitude involving a pending transaction requiring maxiimum confidence.
I am top official of the federal government who is wrongingly accused of bribing a foreign official of the Government of Nigeria. But I am innocent of these charges. It is not us who is corrupt, but rather that Nigeria Government! Full Story »
May 1, 2007
Dear Editor,
In reference to your story entitled “Proposed Jackson Square Starbucks to Serve Organic, Fair Trade Beignets,” I for one would like to applaud commitment of the Starbucks Corporation to the recovery of the City of New Orleans.
At a time when outside investment is scarce, Starbucks is making a bold choice to support the city in our time of gravest need.
Not that I have any personal experience dealing with the grumblings of an insular, isolationist populace in the face of true progress, but I imagine that it must be very difficult for anyone who wants to create a restaurant-style experience that New Orlenians would have to travel to Houston or Baton Rouge to find.
Recall if you will the heated contention between local celebutard luddite Anne Rice and visionary restaurateur Al Copeland just a few short years ago.
Mr. Copeland has remained to rebuild New Orleans. Ms. Rice, in contrast, has fled to California to write either erotica or religious-themed fiction, whatever it is exactly she’s writing now.
Sincerely and Love That Chicken,
Hal Mopeland
Mandeville, LA
Related Story: Proposed Jackson Square Starbucks to Serve Organic, Fair Trade Beignets
May 30, 2006
Ain't no thing.After a period of protest following the announcement of the 2005 Pulitzer Prizes for Journalism, the Creole-Tomato resumed publishing today.
The protest began when cross-town rival paper The Times-Picayune was awarded two Pulitzer Prizes – journalism’s highest honor – for public service and breaking news.
“Everybody wants to slap the Times-Picayune on the back. Courageously riding out the storm, piling in the back of delivery trucks, blah, blah, blah,” said a co-editor of the Tomato who declined to be identified.
“We’re here too,” he continued. “And some of our correspondents are still living on boats.”
The Times-Picayune also won a gold medal for meritorious public service. Full Story »
January 15, 2006
Your message here.The other day, I took a break from hammering election-style advertisements on the Argonne Street neutral ground and looked around.
There are many signs up in New Orleans right now, but of all the signs out there, my sign is the best.
Why? Because against a sea of competitors offering precisely the same service that I do, I stand out.
First of all, I chose a powerful, bold typeface for the words “HOUSE GUTTING.”
My sign has a huge phone number. That’s really important, especially in a neighborhood with no working stoplights.
My sign is purple and gold like LSU. You have to play on people’s allegiances.
All those other signs have way too many words on them. Nobody cares if you’re “Fully Licensed, Bonded, and Insured.” It’s just too many words for people to read. Full Story »
October 30, 2005
The Special Man Much has been written about what to do with looters now that the City of New Orleans is returning back to normal. Some argue for stiff penalties, while others advocate leniency as long as the merchandise can be returned.
But to truly understand this question we must put ourselves in the mindset of the looter.
Imagine if you were caught in the middle of the flood. What would you have been thinking?
My home and livelihood have been destroyed.
My city is in chaos.
My life is in danger.
But I could use a new flat-screen TV and DVD entertainment center. Full Story »
