Gray Ghost Issues Warning of Big Christmas Splash,
Police On High Alert

Photo courtesy of and with apologies to Banksy.

NOPD HEADQUARTERS – Elusive local anti-graffito vigilanto Fred Radtke has a message for anyone thinking about putting up Christmas lights this year: Watch your back.

Radtke, who prefers to be referred to by his nom de guerre “The Gray Ghost,” is known for using his signature gray paint to cover up what he considers to be blights on our fair city’s landscape.

Now, just in time for the holidays, with the Christmas-decorating season underway, he’s issued a new videotape warning to the Citizens of New Orleans.

“Infidels of New Orleans,” says Radtke in the tape, exclusively obtained by The Creole-Tomato, “your decorations of shimmering lights, inflatable reindeer, and yes, even, menorahs an affront to the purity of this holy city.”

“There will be a reckoning,” he added. “A day of total gray.”

In the tape, The Gray Ghost appears to be in a cave of some sort in an undisclosed location. Behind him is a can of gray paint, a wet roller, and a gray Santa Claus suit.

New Orleans Police Department experts are currently analyzing the tape for clues to The Gray Ghost’s whereabouts and motivations.

An anonymous source inside the FBI’s famed Psychological Profile Unit (PPU) that The Ghost’s feelings have been hurt because he was left out of the New Orleans Biennial Art Exhibition.

Security experts say that there’s no way to know just how credible the threat is, but local citizens are taking no chances.

“I plan on staying in this Christmas,” says Becky Wilson of Lakeview. “I don’t want him to get my Advent Calendar.