House of Shock: Morgus Under Scrutiny in Chopsley Euthanasia Case

An anonymous source inside the Louisiana State Attorney General’s office has revealed that recently named Ochsner Chief of Medicine Momus Alexander Morgus, MD, also known as Morgus the Magnificent, is a “person of interest” in the death of Ochsner Head of Surgery, Chopsley, during the chaotic days after Hurricane Katrina shattered New Orleans.

CNN first reported in October that staff members at the medical center had discussions with Morgus about euthanizing Chopsley for the good of the “Higher Order” even before the hurricane flooded the city on Monday, August 29, 2005, cutting off power and stranding hundreds of thousands of residents.

Investigators for Attorney General Charles Foti have seized E.R.I.C. from Morgus’s personal laboratory near Pirate’s Alley.

A source close to the investigation said, “Though we assume the Eon Research Infinity Computer—essentially a human skull connected to a molecular integrated circuit which holds all the knowledge of the universe in his memory banks—would have first-hand knowledge of the incident, E.R.I.C. has been less than cooperative.

“Frankly,” he continued, “the machine’s deep, sepulchral ‘Yes, Master’s seem a little sarcastic.”

When sought for comment, Dr. the Magnificent said in a written statement:

“As we plunge into another new year, I’m pleased to announce that Cox Communications will continue to air my experiments on Cox 10. Look for the latest installments at the usual time on Friday nights, followed by a remedial broadcast on Sunday. Please consult your local listing for times, and contact Cox directly, if you have questions about program availability in your area.”