Reggie Bush to Walk on Water

Flanked by his agents, representatives of his corporate sponsors, Mayor C. Ray Nagin, Archbishop Shulte, Rabbi Bernie Stien of the St. Charles Synagogue, and Pastor Reverend Marla Washington of the New Hope Baptist church, Reggie Bush today announced plans to walk on water “for the children of New Orleans.”

The announcement was immediately met with universal community praise.

“It’s about time somebody walked on water for these children,” said one local resident.

“These kids have been through a lot. They deserve it.”

But not everyone is a believer. Scientists from the UNO Marine Engineering Department have expressed doubt that Bush will be able to complete his journey.

“Don’t get me wrong,” said Professor Franklin Languedoc. “I think it’s really great that he’s trying to help. But it just won’t work, hydrodynamically speaking.”

“Let’s start with baby steps, like a Super Bowl victory,” continued Professor Languedoc.

But such doubts fall on the deaf ears of the truly faithful.

“At least he’s doin’ something,” said another local resident. “Brad Pitt never walked on shit!”

More Articles in Sportsman’s Paradise »