Hoping to Get to the Super Bowl,
Saints Hoping Shockey Gets Hurt

METAIRIE PRACTICE FACILITY — The Saints added another piece of the Super Bowl puzzle when they traded for former New York Giant (and Eli Manning teammate) Jeremy Shockey.

Now all they need to do is figure out how to get him hurt.

Shockey, a Pro Bowl Tight End with big speed and a big reputation for trouble, got hurt midway through New York’s 2007-2008 campaign, propelling the rudderless franchise to victory.

Now the Saints are hoping he can repeat that same magic one more time.

“In a sense, this is the perfect city for Jeremy to do what he does best,” said Saints General Manager Mickey Loomis.

“There are many establishments serving reasonably-priced beverages that, when consumed in the right quantities, affect the body’s balance and coordination. Many are also located on streets with old, broken sidewalks.”

“If there’s a better town to partially tear an ACL, I don’t know what it is.”

Saints officials confirm that they have encouraged Shockey to do workouts on his own on the cobblestone streets of the Warehouse District.

In fact, no option is off the table when it comes to helping Shockey do his best.

“I don’t know if it will come placing banana peels around where he’s known to walk,” said Saints General Manager Mickey Loomis. “But we’re fully prepared to do whatever it takes to get this franchise to a Super Bowl.”