New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg Pushes
“Krewe of Macy’s” Scheme for 2009

Parade Throws: A Novel Idea.

MANHATTAN, New York — Under the towering leadership of billionaire mayor Michael Bloomberg, New York City has seen economic issues ebb and flow during the last seven years. Bloomberg, a businessman by trade has invigorated the post-9/11 metropolis by strong development initiatives and small business support.

Given the recent collapse of Wall Street, New Yorkers, and Americans for that matter, are looking to the inscrutable Mayor Mike for ideas.

“We’ve met success in a wavering financial climate when we reached out across our city limits for mutually beneficial programming,” said Mayor Mike while presenting an 88-page Power Point deck.

“The best example is the Charlotte-New York compact on real estate development capital prospecti. Or the Puerto Rico-5 Borough teacher exchange and salary boost. And we’re finally underway on the tax exemptions in Pennsylvania as well.”

But the big news is a scheme dreamed up by the New York City Tourism Board to launch the First Annual Krewe of Macy’s Mardi Gras-Style Thanksgiving Day Parade.

“Obviously we’ve been working with the good people of Orleans Parish to generate a tourism push here in the Big Apple,” said Bloomberg.

To overhaul such a tame parade of where riders throw nothing and audience members simply gaze at passing balloons into an authentic Mardi Gras style parade, New York will spend millions in New Orleans.

The program, which was approved by the City Council yesterday, sets in place a number of huge export contracts for New Orleans businesses.

Blaine Kerne, Accent Annex, Randazzo’s Bakery, and K-Jean Seafood are a few of the more notable local companies with contracts in place. But the NYC-NoLa enterprise will not stop at Mardi Gras commodities, consumables, and commestibles.

The NOPD will send officers to retrain NYPD for the occasion so that the only viable arrest made is one for public urination.

The “Move Back Moms” of the St. Augustine, McDonough 35, and Rummel High School Marching Bands will also travel to The Big Apple to provide special training to the already-pushy New York natives.

The Sigma Tau Delta fraternity of Tulane University plans to deposit a dilapidated sofa between 43rd and 44th Streets along the route for use on a first come first serve basis.

And the already-devastated Mardi Gras Ladder industry expects thousands of new orders.

Kelly Geauxdais, president of the National Association of Mardi Gras Ladder Manufacturers, said that “a new customer base will allow us to invest in innovative new technologies such as carbon-fiber materials and built-in GPS units.”