February 3, 2008

St. Augustine Marching Band to Clone Self: Changes Name to Marching 10,000

Better drum lines through chemistry

The cloning debate has come to the Crescent City.

With the Marching 100 in such high demand every Carnival Season, the extracurricular coordinators at St. Aug have been in closed door discussions with prominent genetic scientists from Korea and Switzerland.

At a press conference on the grounds of this Orleans Parish institution, Band Director Professor Doctor Reverend Ernest Johnson Jackson Jr. announced that systematic laboratory work has been underway since August 2005.

“We here at Saint Augustine recognize the importance of our students to apply themselves educationally. However, we also understand the compelling need for the Purple Knights to appear in every Mardi Gras Parade there is or ever will be.”

“It’s about recovery.”

German scientist Klaus Krauthosenhoff reports, “Ve have had great early success vith crops, cows, and sheep. A cymbal player is the next logical step.”

Ironically, many marching band insiders have speculated for years that the famous St. Aug marching band has been cloning itself for years.

Beaming with pride, Johnson Jackson Jr., stated: “The challenge is immense. With more marchers on the street, resources will get stretched thin. We’ll have to clone more whistle-blowing mothers to scream at the crowd to stand back.”